Shipping is the ancient and well practiced art of metaphorically smushing various characters' faces together like barbie dolls to make them kiss. It was invented when the ancient greeks listened to Homer waffle on about the Trojan War for the first time and upon hearing about Patrocles and his bbgirl Achilles they gave each other history's first recorded "Bombastic Side-Eyes" and retired to bed that night, minds already bursting with Warrior Cats-esque visions of the two fictional men doing the naughty. In a way, those were also the first fan edits, although they were imagined only. Luckily for us nowadays people, we have the means and ability to create these sorts of edits, but we sadly don't usually have the motivation.
...what was I talking about again? Oh yeah, TF2.
TF2 is the best game ever created by anyone at any point in time ever, other than maybe Super Mario Chess. Not that VALVE care or anything. Those ratbastards have GOLD on their hands, yet all they ever do is ignore the outcry for updates and chuck a singular new game mode at us after three years to shut us up a bit. Unluckily for them, I am not placated. WHERE ARE OUR MEDIC AND HEAVY SPECIFIC DOMINATION LINES, YOU SKANKS? WHERE'S COMIC NUMBER SEVEN? WHY COULDN'T YOU GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER FOR FIVE SECONDS TO GIVE US A MOTHERFUCKING TV SERIES??
I just realised I was so caught up in my rage I didn't actually explain what TF2 is. If you don't know, google it. If you do, why are you reading this section? Look at the next part!
The part you've alllll been waiting for: THE SHIP TABLE TM
Although it is as of typing this, still VERY barebones as I've literally only just started the CSS bit of my html tutorial. And I'm getting distracted by the allure of "creating new webpages"
| SCOUT | SOLLY | PYRO | DEMO | HEAVY | ENGIE | MEDIC | SNIPER | SPY | |
| SCOUT | brat n brat | batting helmet | flashfire | hopscotch | mice n men | texas twostep | little prick | speeding bullet | what. |
| SOLLY | batting helmet | screamin eagles | fireworks | boots n bombs | cold war | helmet party | rocket science | american aviators | freedom fries |
| PYRO | flashfire | fireworks | twin flames | molotov cocktail | toasted sandvich | texas toast | burn ward | bushfire | french toast |
| DEMO | hopscotch | boots n bombs | molotov cocktail | double dynamite | vodka party | short fuse | jaegerbombs | swordvan | bomb voyage |
| HEAVY | mice n men | cold war | toasted sandvich | vodka party | russian front | heavy metal | red oktoberfest | vegemite sandvich | russian roulette |
| ENGIE | texas twostep | helmet party | texas toast | short fuse | heavy metal | brokeback mountain | science party | outback steakhouse | napoleon complex |
| MEDIC | little prick | rocket science | burn ward | jaegerbombs | red oktoberfest | science party | dopplegangers | urine sample | gentle surgery |
| SNIPER | speeding bullet | american aviators | bushfire | swordvan | vegemite sandvich | outback steakhouse | urine sample | piss play | knife fight |
| SPY | ...ew | freedom fries | french toast | bomb voyage | russian roulette | napoleon complex | gentle surgery | knife fight | cloak and dagger |
Another table? Yippee kai yay.
| PAULING | MERASMUS | OTHERS | MORE OTHERS | YET MORE OTHERS | MEDIC RIZZ?? | |
| SCOUT | caught looking | cosmic atomic | Saxton Hale: battman | |||
| SOLLY | launch codes | doommates | Zhanna: maggot bear | |||
| PYRO | missfire | crematorium | N/A (rip) | |||
| DEMO | buzzkill | blind fate | Medic's Wife: cheater's lament | |||
| HEAVY | bloody sandvich | come back stronger | Cheavy: unstoppable force | |||
| ENGIE | square dance | magic of science | N/A, unless you count Mimi Sentry. Which I don't. | |||
| MEDIC | spectacle psychopaths | healing magic | Spy's Head: head over heals | His Wife: wings of purity | S-satan?: infernal medicine | Cheavy: cold oktoberfest |
| SNIPER | piss mauling | rain of jarate | Saxton Hale: blowing the sax | Maggie: saxton's bane | GLaDOS: SniDOS | |
| SPY | partners in crime | snake charmer | Ma: PORNOGRAPHY! | |||
| ADMINIST. | business as usual | cursed australium | Sniper: australium smoke | |||
| OTHERS | Zhanna: russian dolls | Tom Jones: it's not unusual | Maggie x Saxton Hale: saxmag | |||
| Bidwell: business casual | Old Nick: skull party | Bidwell x Saxton Hale: saxwell | ||||
| Fried Chicken Girl: hits n misses | Headless Horseman: bombinonmicon magic | |||||
| Ma: plain awkward |
A note of note: I am a firm (very firm) believer in Canonically Lesbian Pauling tm. However, I'm including her ships with the mercs for two reasons:
Like I said earlier, this webbed site is EXTREMELY barebones thus far. Don't get pissy pls. What you CAN get pissy over, however, is if I FORGOT your OTP. If I did that, BOTHER ME ON TUMBLR! My askbox is open. Probably. Also bother me if you know better ship names for saxmag, saxwell, bloody sandvich and cursed australium. I came up with three of those four and frankly they are s h i t e.